[English Version] Painting chapters in Bali
From the Retreat to a routine I was missing, trying to live without expectations and attachments.
Sorry. It’s been a while I don’t wrote. Not because I don’t have things to write about, the opposite. I have so much that I almost don’t know where to begin. These have been busy months, exciting and rich with people, emotions, events, always different, always nourishing, always deep. I don’t know if the energy of this place amplifies what we experience. I think so. I’ve also started painting. And when I have time, I go on. And it’s been already a beautiful journey.
Let me take a step back. The last newsletter was about contact dance, which I did for a while, also with Paola. She arrived in December because we organized the New Year’s Retreat together, and she decided to stay with me for a while. When she arrived, I was in a moment—as always here—very peaceful. I was teaching at SoleLuna, I had spent a month with Christine, with whom I have a great connection (we meet together in various places around the world), and subconsciously I was afraid that this balance would be ruined. In reality, I was afraid of reliving the energetic discord that we had when I returned from Bali in February. At the time, she was coming off a heavy winter in Milan, while me, on the other hand, I was arriving full of the bliss of Bali. I was afraid that this disharmony could come again. And indeed, initially, it did. We argued very heatedly after a few hours, but this was the key, once again, to the evolution of our relationship. What we do when we clash is see where we’re both triggered by our attitudes, and vice versa. When we observe and look at this thing (and we’ve become masters at doing so, increasingly quickly), we heal it. We embrace each other tightly and overcome it, and even if it hurts, that pain is the key to dissolving it. “We are all walking each other home,” Ram Dass said. And it’s so true. We just need to clear away all the layers we’ve consciously or unconsciously created, to look at each other, hold hands, and say, “I’m you, you are me.” Only in this way can we access a different level of collective consciousness, which can truly improve this world. Bali facilitates the path, and just as it did with me, it does it with all people who are truly willing to never stop asking questions. With Paola, Bali was powerful, I knew it, but so much, in such a positive way, I couldn’t have imagined. I’m very happy that our first clash in March didn’t separate us, but brought us this far. We united and aligned in a way that had never happened before. And we chose it. We were good. And in fact, when we opened the circle at the beginning of the Retreat, I spoke about our evolution, and I was truly moved. It’s a relationship that has lasted since 2021 and that we have carried forward with care and love, for ourselves and for the people who follow us. And this is Oceano Retreat.
I just rewatched the reel and it gave me chills.
It was special. With that first circle, each of us shared ourselves without filters, with so many tears, and this created a sacred—feminine—union. We immediately understood that we could trust each other, and together, we gave and received so much. What I experience in Bali is what I try to share. Having held a Retreat (Saraswati—we are the painters!) in the place where I attended Dani’s teacher trainings and where I first felt, saw, and transformed things within myself, and then being able to lead others to do the same, is special and, as I’ve said before, it’s part of my dharma. And I want to continue in this direction. In addition to the practices, where we gave each of us the key, through interaction with the Goddesses and the elements, to access each other’s deepest self, we surfed, played and sang by the fire, danced with Japa, and created sacred transformative rituals. We experienced the nightlife of Uluwatu, but we also spent a lot of time together. We let ourselves go in the water, both with the gentleness of watsu and the power of the waves. The somatic water healing practice was powerful. Having experienced it firsthand with Oceano two years ago (and it revealed so much to me) and after the training with Marina and Dani this year, I’m grateful to be able to share this experience, because it truly has the power to go into deep emotions and intuitions that may be repressed, but instead, by bringing them to the surface, they can be seen and healed. In a different way, the power of the ocean show determination, strength, and the ability to flow, which is clear when we live in the present moment. The girls all came back home home with full hearts, with new sisters, with a new awareness of themselves, and a great love for Bali. I just read their feedback, and it gave me chills again.
Thank you girls, I still feel close to you, even if you’re not here. There’s a special connection with each of you. And I’m so happy because I know we’ll meet again, maybe in Portugal to surf and create new, unforgettable memories. The next Oceano Retreat will be in the Algarve from June 17th to 22nd, during the summer solstice, in a magical glamping site in the nature near the ocean. And then in August we’ll repeat our Sailing Holiday in Ibiza and Formentera (from the 8th to the 16th). Oh, and we’re still planning Bali from December 5th to 13th because with 3 days of vacation you can make 9 days... (If you want to join, contact me now, because they will all be very, very special experiences.) How wonderful to have already painted almost all of 2026. And speaking of painting, I’m back to paint. I’ll continue later.
The painting came to my mind in this house, from my precious corner near the pool, where I saw the sky with all its colors and connected with it, and then I thought I wanted to manifest it. This came in one of the many unforgettable moments I’ve experienced here. At La Comune Indah 101 (Indah means beautiful in Indo), we celebrated Christmas, created powerful circles with Carla, Paola, Morty, Daniel, Alina, Ilya, Remy, Emmanuel... and some other magical people. Experiences that brought us together strongly. Before coming back to Italy, Paola gave me a gorgeous ring that surely represents our ability to complete each other. She made it together with Remy (a wonderful person who is opening his own plant-based restaurant in Ubud, based on color therapy).
It’s powerful, and I see in that ring my evolution, similar to the one I bought here in Ubud in 2019, so small. I never thought then that I’d come back to live here. Every day a new chapter opens here. My dad just sent me a message last night from the Perugina chocolate.
Yes, every day we are the architects of our day. We choose how to live it, how to face it, wherever we are and whatever we do. The Balinese teach you so much, because every morning they make offerings, light incense, and smile. The Balinese always smile. Yesterday after practice, Denise reminded us of this. Today in Bahasa Indonesian class, the teacher said: “As long as you smile here in Bali, you are safe.”
Why is the most difficult asana for us to smile? There are people here who have nothing compared to us, they’ve never even left here, and they reply by smiling every day. And every time I feel very small, and grateful, for everything I have and have had in my life. We decide if we want to smile, and what attitude have during the day, how to interact with other people, and what we want to attract to us. (We are the Painters, Saraswati says.) And even if we have a life with routines (and in this routine we have things we don’t like), we choose how to deal with them, and if necessary, CHANGE THEM. We are the sole architects of our reality with infinite possibilities for creation. I wrote about the water here.
Something happened today that made me think. Having this house in Ubud has allowed me to create a routine, something I hadn’t had in years. And it was just what I needed. Going for a run with the running club, practicing yoga with my favorite teachers (Andrei...), going to Sayuri in the evening, Bali Bohemia, eating at Bali Buda... talking and learning from new people from all over the world every day. Always dancing (contact / ecstatic / Afro / Brazilian / hip hop - the other night with Amenti, wow!).
Today, after my last time with Paola, I went back to contact dancing because I had various thoughts that I felt needed to “dissolve,” so after my practice at Yoga Barn, I went to Paradiso, where the Dissolve dance is held (I talked about it in the last NL). I let my body guide me and truly received what I needed. My nervous system relaxed, and I felt myself, in the collective flow, guided by a powerful energy, that of the present moment, where there was no before or after, only dissolving, transformation, creation. I had missed that feeling, which is truly similar to surfing, yoga, running... In surfing, it’s you and the sea. In yoga, it’s you and the mat. In running, it’s you and your shoes. In contact dancing, it’s you and the others. In this flow, I met a person with whom I played and danced with lightness and harmony. A month ago, I wanted to connect with that same person, but I couldn’t (maybe I’d talked about it), because my energy was different. I was seeking connection and not letting it happen spontaneously; I had expectations. Today, however, it happened spontaneously. And at the end of the dance, she said to me: “Nice to connect again after a long time.” And I was happy to be a new me once again, and to have learned something new.
I love living here because every day, as the Perugian chocolate says, is a new day, in which something new is born among the people I meet and the ideas I receive. Even though I’m always in the same place, I’m constantly transforming and evolving, experiencing important chapters each time. If I think back to when Margherita was here, then Arianna, Christine, and then Paola, Carla, then Sarina came to visit me. Then Lila was here, and now Sara from Mexico and Giada have arrived, who was a wonderful discovery, we’ve found each other again, and since she’s from Viareggio, we’re already planning events together at home. Lila read my cards every morning, and together we shared our ideas and hopes, both in relationships and life choices. We are two small, great women, free and aware. She is very Kafa, and I am more Pitta and Vata (the Ayurvedic dosas), and together we balance each other out.
She painted my body at every dance, and I helped her at an event at Yoga Barn, where I had a blast: Mose and Hanuman Project played amazing music that had us dancing for hours. It’s wonderful to be surrounded by this energy. I helped by handing out intention cards before the Cacao, and I felt like I had contributed in my own small way. I feel more and more part of the community.
There’s no alcohol at the events I go, and it’s strange to think that most of my parties and fun times are associated with it. It doesn’t make you have fun; it alters the brain, so people relax, let go, and have fun. But if everyone learned to be present and mindful, they’d know how to have fun without it, like we do here. And it’s much more exciting. If we drink something, it’s precisely Ceremonial Cacao before dancing or music, which releases anandamide (the bliss molecule), phenylethylamine (the molecule of falling in love), and magnesium (relaxes the nervous system). Alcohol releases alcohol, which is bad for the liver and is felt the next day. I haven’t had a drink since September. That’s not to say it’s not nice to drink a glass of red wine from our Italian cellars - it also contains good prana—or a hierba buena Ibizenca ;) -. That’s also a sensorial and physical pleasure that’s right to indulge in, like when we eat something we like even if it’s not good for us (we’re still humans). But often, it’s the intention behind drinking something alcoholic that’s just plain wrong and negative. The concept of unwinding from a stressful week or “switching off” with alcohol is wrong, in my opinion, especially if it’s routine. Here in Ubud, I don’t see this. Certainly, the same thing happens in Canggu or Ulu, where there are several clubs, where there’s a lot of alcohol and superficiality—in the end, Bali is a miniature version of the world. The people who are in Ubud are also around the world, they’re just more dispersed, and if you live in a city like Milan, it’s hard to find them, and often people choose to stay alone or at home rather than make the effort to go out and meet others, because it’s tiring, whereas here it’s very easy. I know many people who read me experience this. The invitation is to try to create more conscious realities everywhere in the world, because I am certain that these are the realities that can improve the world, and not the other way around. (Ayo Rubah Dunia Bersama Sama - Let’s change the world together - I learned today in the Bahasa Indonesia class)
Another thing I’ve reflected on about always being here with my routines and people coming and going is my ability to always remain very aligned and firm in my needs, desires, and principles, unmoved by what happens around me. There was a person who got very close to me, drawn by my energy, and then suddenly she was no longer there. I didn’t chase her, I didn’t force her, I didn’t try to understand. In the past, I looked for explanations and didn’t accept them; I clung to what I had felt. I’m learning, of course, not to do that, because there’s no world in which I feel better than my own when I’m centered. And indeed, then the answers come. COME, come come come, GO, go go go. This is Ganesha reminding us that we are already complete as we are, and not to remain attached to things, is The Law of Detachment.
This house is my center, my Universe. It’s wonderful to wake up here to the sound of the river (which reminds me of “Irene’s Little House” I had in Forte dei Marmi as a child). I love it when I’m in my corner of the pool, lying on the lounger and looking at the sky; I feel in my world. That’s where my painting was born. When I’m there, I connect with everything. I have this feeling in my house in Forte dei Marmi too. But here I experience space and time differently, and at this stage I’m allowing myself to create and see what comes. There are things I’m letting go of, but I’m increasingly aware and clear about what I desire, and in these creative moments, the intuitions to create my own design, the design of my life, come to me.
And now I’m going back to painting.